Orientation: Proofreading Practice

The story you will find below is around 1000 words in length, which is the maximum length for the stories you will be writing in this class. One of the reasons I set a maximum length for the stories, along with a minimum length, is that it really does take time to proofread a story after you have written it! Based on this assignment, I will be able to identify the specific proofreading skills you need to review and work on this semester. Be prepared: this assignment will take you anywhere from 30 minutes to one hour, depending on how confident you are in your proofreading skills.

First, you need to cut-and-paste the text of the story into your text editor (as you know already, I highly recommend the use of GoogleDocs, but the choice is yours). You need to proofread the story carefully, correcting all the errors you find. I highly recommend that you proofread by reading out loud very slowly, which takes about ten minutes for a story of this length, not counting the time you spend making corrections. There are a lot of errors in the story, and the variety of errors reflects the errors I most commonly see in people's writing assignments. For the purposes of this diagnostic exercise, you must do the proofreading on your own, without asking another person to help you; this is meant to be an assessment of your skills, not the skills of your friends. Feel free, however, to consult any reference materials that you find helpful. I have also created some writing reference materials for you to use; if you have suggestions about how I can make those materials more useful, please let me know!

When you are done proofreading and correcting the story, copy-and-paste the corrected story into an email and send it to me; the subject line of the email should be "Proofreading Practice." It would also be helpful if you let me know what you thought about this exercise - whether you found it hard or easy, how confident you are about proofreading, etc. As soon as you have sent me the email, you can then complete the Gradebook Declaration for this assignment - you don't have to wait on my comments back to you.  Depending on when you turn the assignment in, you might have to wait a day or two to get my comments; meanwhile, you can check to make sure I received your assignment by looking at the Assignment Stack.

And now... here is the story.

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The Most Powerful Husband

There was once a holy man, who lived by the river Ganges. Because he and his wife had no children, he prayed everyday to the gods' to give him a child. One day, while he was praying, a hawk flew over head, carrying a mouse in it's talons. All of the sudden, the hawk dropped the mouse, and the poor creature fell with a tiny splash into the rivers waters. The holy man sees what happened and, being a kind person, he rescued the mouse. He held the mouse gently in his hands, warming the little creature with his breathe. Much to his amazement the mouse turned into a baby girl! The man thanked the gods for their gift, and rushed home to tell his wife what had happened. Joyfully, they razed the little girl as their own.

Years past and the girl grew up to be a beautiful woman, it was time to find her a husband. "What kind of husband do you want," they asked her?

The woman replied, "I want a husband, who is strong and powerful. I want to marry the strongest most powerful being in the world."

Her mother thought about this for awhile and then said, "I can not think of anyone more powerful than the sun."

The daughter said, "Your right, Mother. The sun is very warm and kind in addition to being strong. Father, will you ask the sun to be my husband." The father agreed and off they go to speak to the sun.

"Sun," he said. "This beautiful woman is my daughter. She would like to marry you. Because you are the strongest being in the world."

The sun smiled and said "Your daughter is very beautiful indeed, and I am very strong. In all honesty, though I must tell you that there is someone even stronger than I am."

The man asked "Who could be stronger than the sun?"

The sun pointed to the cloud, and said, "Look at that cloud! If he comes any closer to me my light will vanish and you will no longer see me. The cloud is much more powerful than I am"

The man thanked the sun for being honest and then asked his daughter what she thought?

"Oh, I think the sun might be very hot tempered, and he is not as strong as I thought" said the daughter. "The cloud, on the other hand, is very beautiful, and he is also very strong, I would like the cloud to be my husband."

The father then said to the cloud. "Cloud, will you marry my daughter? You are very strong, even stronger than the sun, I think you would make a good husband for my daughter."

The cloud laughed and said, "Its true; I am stronger than the sun. But, there is someone even more powerful than I am. The wind. The wind pushes me this way and that way, and I must go were he blows me. I am stronger then the sun, but the wind is even stronger."

The father turned to his daughter and asked, "daughter, do you think the wind would make a good husband for you?"

The daughter spoke, "Yes, Father! I see now that the cloud is very unstable, moving here and there and he is not as powerful as I thought. Instead of the cloud I would like the wind to be my husband!"

The father then said to the wind, "Wind, you are so very strong, even stronger than the cloud. Will you marry my daughter?

The wind scoffed at the man and said, "you must be a very foolish man if you think that I am so strong. Do you see that stone wall over there. I have been blowing and blowing against that wall for years, but it does not fall down, no matter how hard I blow, I cant make that stone wall fall down. If your daughter wants to marry a strong husband she should marry that stone wall."

The daughter exclaims, "The wind is very boisterous and loud, not the kind of husband that I want. The stone wall however, looks very steady and reliable, in addition to being very strong. I would be happy if the stone wall is my husband!"

The father then approached the wall and said, "wall, we see that you are very strong, and my daughter wants the strongest possible husband. Will you be my daughters' husband?"

The stone wall was embarrassed by the question, and slow to reply. "Strong," he said? "Do you really think I am so strong? You are mistaken, just look at that little creature down there, scurrying in and out. He has digged a hole below my own foundation, and there is nothing I can do to stop him. If your daughter wants the strongest possible husband, she should marry that little creature. I think he is called, a mouse."

At the mention of the word "mouse", the daughter felt light headed and dizzy. "A mouse?" she asked in a quite voice. "Yes," she then said more loudly! "I must have a mouse for my husband!"

The holy man recognized the gods great wisdom in that moment. "Daughter," he said, "may the gods bless this union and may you discover in this way you're own true nature." A great light shown all around them and the man watched as his daughter turned back into a mouse!

He then calls out to the mouse beneath the wall. "Mouse, strongest of all, will you marry my Daughter?"

The mouse scurried out from under the wall, and smiled when he saw the beautiful mouse. "Of course" he said to the man. "I will gladly marry your daughter."

The man then ran and fetched his wife so that they could celebrate there daughter's wedding. The man and the women, together with the mouse and his bride, feasted together for many days. The man and his wife then returned to their home by the river, rejoicing for their daughter's good fortune. While the two mice lived happily everafter, safe in their home beneath the wall.

THE END

I wrote this story based on the many variations I have read; if you are curious, you can learn more about this ancient story at Dan Ashliman's website: The Mouse who was to Marry the Sun. The image shows the Ganges near Kanpur in northern India.

When you have emailed the corrected copy of the story, you can complete the Gradebook Declaration: